Guest post: Why Do Men Fear Painting Wood?
Today's post comes from Kristie Barnett, the owner of StoneBrook Staging and Interior Styling. Additionally, she blogs about decoration inspiration, collections, bargain hunting, party planning, and using color in your home. Kristie says, as a Home Stager, she knows that paint colors have a profound influence on a buyer's perception of a property's desirability. And she's seen how the right colors can improve the place we call home and the way we live in it
Take it away, Kristie!
Thank you, Rachel, for letting me hang out on your fabulous blog today! As an interior stylist and home stager, my job sometimes requires me to ask (and answer) the hard questions. Read on:
Why do men fear painting wood
By Kristie Barnett
It's an age-old question: why do men fear painting wood? I can't tell you how many times the following has occurred: I have a color consultation with the lady of the house. There are some horrible 1970s-1980s pieces of wood furniture, dreaded fake paneling in the den, or dated wood cabinets in the kitchen.
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I've learned my lesson. Now when I know there might be wood paneling involved, I insist on the husband being present for the consult. Surely, I can make him see the error of his ways! Well, sometimes I can. Other times, not so much. What's interesting to me is that men have difficulty articulating WHY they don't want to paint the wood! Is this primal? Genetic? Hormonal?So I've been asking men all over the same question: why are you so resistant to painting wood? Here are some of the responses I have gotten:
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1. "You should never paint good wood." Uhhh, do you call thin 1970's fake paneling "good" wood? It's not even real wood, is it? Just wood-like. Woodish. I can understand not wanting to defile the real tongue and groove heavy-duty stuff (I'm not completely heartless), even though I might try to talk you into painting that, too, if it's holding back the overall design.
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And my favorite: 3. "You can never go back once you paint wood." Why would you want to go back? To 1972???? I have never known anyone to strip the paint off of painted wood paneling once it's been done. And I've NEVER heard of anyone in the last 35 years running out to Home Depot as soon as they close on their brand new home to purchase some fake dark wood paneling to install in their den.
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After shot of same bricked-in den. Way better now, right?
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That's about it. Those are the best arguments I've heard. So I guess I have to delve into their psyches and take my best guess as to the real reasons underneath it all (my husband HATES it when I do that). I have no doubt it is in large part due to testosterone and DNA. Hunters don't paint their hunting lodges, do they? And I suppose some men have fantasies of living off the land or in the woods, for at least a week or two. No mountain men ever painted a tree stump they used to sit on while they skinned their meat. 
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Most men don't like the idea of not being able to see the grain of the wood, which is covered up once painted. Is there some correlation to preferring women naked rather than clothed, even though clearly most of us look better clothed? 
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It's still somewhat of a mystery to me. But rest assured that I will continue to try to understand why men fear painting wood. And I will continue to stamp out those fears and seek to beautify the earth. With a fresh coat of paint. :)
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32 comments:
I think men are afraid to paint wood because they know that they are the ones who'll have to strip it if their wife doesn't like it! Seriously though, I think in some cases it's fine to paint over paneling. When I lived in PGH we didn't want to paint over the paneling so we decided to take it down. What a mess! Unbeknownst to us we had plaster walls and wound up destroying the wall. A gallon of paint would have been the better choice. Live and learn right?
Love the paint! and your conversations with men.....I'm laughing...they don't make anymore sense than I do when hormonal....smiles. thank you!
Too funny and all too true!
What gets me is the belief that somehow the stained stuff is more natural or organic than painted.
Yes, you can see the grain - usually - with stained wood, but the process for staining it is far from natural and organic. Stains and various potions used to 'bring out the grain and protect the wood' can be wickedly harsh to the wood and the humans applying it. Paint or stain - neither one is "natural" and both equally assault and alter the true state of wood.
Great post! Love the drama shot half way through. :)
Here's one of my theories on why men may not want to paint wood - it's harder than painting drywall and therefore to be discouraged. Do I know if this is true? No. But I do know that I was unaware that dark, polyurethaned panelling could be painted over. And that absolutely no one brought it up at the local paint shops or they'd hem and haw if I did. I still don't know what paint one uses for that, but I've seen it done. Wish I'd known...!
The one thing that bugs me about my painted wood kitchen cabinets though - the top edges seem greasy and gather gunk fast. Yes I have a really good vent and hood. No it doesn't seem to make a diff. Bah!
'Tis the best decorating post I've read in the blogosphere to date, bar none! Blog on intrepid one. Divide and conquer!
I think that men don't like painting wood for the reason that it can be complicated and without professional guidance it can lead to disaster and it can actually corrode the wood if not done properly which opens up another can of worms rather left untouched. For example, you must first strip wood and to do this you have to have the right materials and know what your doing to avoid damage to the wood, be it woodish like or real wood. Secondly its a matter of finding the right stain that will help bring out the woods natural look and feel, and finally finding the right varnish to tone the wood. If this is done incorrectly it can cause damage to the wood costing more than what you intended. At Sawyer Painting and Decorating we offer affordable solutions for all your painting needs. We service Santa Clarita, Valencia, and Canyon Country. We are a small family owned and operated business, and it is our job to make sure that your home looks and feels exactly the way you want it to, and we take that job very seriously. Call us for an estimate or quote.
GREAT post. I'm sure I like it because I have to deal with it all the time, and it's so frustrating to know....really KNOW....what a difference paint will make to a space and having the house dictator make a stupid, uninformed decision. I don't tell them how to do their jobs...they should leave the designing to the experts too! Just saying.....
I'll keep this post, and you can do a guest post for me anytime.
Dead on! Man have a reverence to wood even bad ugly wood. It totally the male woodsman, Psyche, DNA testosterone or whatever drives them. Its a sin against nature. It as nothing to do with the how to or the practical. The next thing on the list is leather furniture, sticky in the summer , cold in the winter, and all the cushions slip off. AND what you end up with is a yucky dark brown room. There are only limiter colours that will work with shades of brown wood and brown leather! How oppressive and masculine
You wouldn't believe the "coversation" my husband and I had about the trim in our house. It was built in the 70's and has that lovely orangey shiny wood trim all over everything. All I wanted was to try one room to show him how nice it would look while he preferred to refinish it. From furniture to cabinets to trim all I get is "why do you always want to paint everything" Maybe it's the brown color, they just want everything brown. I think I'm slowly wearing him down
Oh, my cheeks are hurting from laughing. I do interior design and also staging. Just last month I went through the exact same scenario when a wife I consulted with actually begged me to call her husband to convince him to paint out the bad 80's cabinets. He finally saw the light when he realized that the cabinets look as bad to us as old paneling looks to him.
Here's my stab at explanation. I think that wood "feels" more masculine and painted walls "feel" more feminine. Just think -- when we design a man's club or den or office, we tend to design it with some deep colors and lots of natural wood, even if it is a contemporary design. There just simply are things that read as masculine vs. feminine. So I think they subconsciously feel as though painting the wood is a bit emasculating.
Whew! Sorry for the very long comment. Guess I've really been thinking about this.
Really great post, and so dead-on! My dad makes furniture and it's taken YEARS for me to convince him that I really DO prefer painted wood as opposed to stain...and that there is nothing wrong with that. I think some people - mostly men- just have such a strong love affair with the "natural" quality of wood that to cover it up in any form is sacrilege.
You bring up great points and questions. I enjoyed your post tremendously!
What a great post! And sooooo true! Love your parallel to naked women. What a hoot. Very informative with spot-on observations and beautiful design work!
I think I was very...lucky indeed: our entire basement was dark wood panelling circa 1980. Even my husband said YES to painting it white, and the stair area yellow!!! wow, I guess this was very unusual! Anyway, it looks great, as you can well imagine. But, of course, this was before blogging days, so I don't have a before and after: too bad!
Wow, I've loved hearing your comments on my guestpost! For anyone interested, painting wood or wood paneling is really NOT complicated at all! There are just a few extra steps. And you DON'T have to strip the wood! You need to lightly sand the surface to knock off the sheen - a sanding pole is the way to go (looks like sandpaper on the end of a Swiffer mop) or rub "Liquid Sand" all over it. Then wipe down with a DRY cloth (a wet cloth will raise the grain of the wood - NOT GOOD). Then coat with a oil-based primer like Kilz. Then paint 2-3 coats of latex or oil-based paint over the primer when completely dry. THAT'S IT!!! No biggie, except a BIG change for the better. Hope you guys will visit me at my blog, www.makingarrangementsblog.com. Thanks, Rachel!
We have no fear of painting wood, we paint our houses all the time.
I personally like various "outdated" looks, they are comfortable, and familiar; I strive not to be trendy, and to be more comfortable any way.
How these men did not know that, when your wife wants to remodel some part of the house - it effectively is giving the room to their wife?
too funny.
While I am not a fan of the particular styles you chose to convert some of the rooms above into, I do see you have a good ability to take something and improve upon it. I saw many changes that while not obvious at first, really improved the feel of each space.
now if only you showed us some of the pictures of spaces where you catered to the love of wood, but updated it with the same pinash. Beautiful wood work is wonderful to be surrounded by. One wouldn't paint over the interior of the Robie house.
nice post!
Men prefer not to paint wooden walls because they want to preserve the natural beauty of it. My dad the sole designer of our house never painted our wooden walls, stairs and doors. All of them were varnished to its shiniest! I'm glad that I've met painting contractors (Alexandria VA) that opened my eyes with beautifully painted woods. I wish I could bring them to my Dad and make him open to the idea. But as of now, I am very happy with my orange painted wooden walls.
Paint is like make-up; cover the imperfections. When women see an imperfection, a blemish, rather than refinishing (dirty hard work that men usually get volunteered by their wives to do) most women prefer to just simply cover it up the easiest way; we know how to paint our nails, then we can paint wood.
Also, most genuine men prefer women who are light on the make-up and possess a more natural beauty which is why I think they prefer the natural look and essence of wood. Normal men don't bother with make-up.
My husband and I enjoy refinishing furniture to it's original finish. Stained furniture get re-stained and painted furniture, repainted. Sometimes he'll help me paint a dresser especially if someone covered it in painted flowers. Also, we are a young couple with two beautiful boys so don't assume just because we like stained wood that we own wood paneling.
I prefer the lighter, brighter colors, too, especially for trim. It works like a white border on a photo, framing the important things and cleanly dividing areas. I think there are a couple of other reasons why men tend to dislike painting the wood, though. One is that stainable wood is more costly to install in the first place becuase it has to be a solid piece of wood, whereas paintable wood is pieced together and can never be stained. I imagine that they are thinking that it is devaluing the wood. However, they do not see that sometimes things that just do not look good also devalue your home. A second reason I can think of is that once wood is painted, it will need to be repainted at some point, again and again, to keep it fresh and clean looking. Read: more work. Plus, even more work if it is on a working piece such as a kitchen cabinet where a build-up of paint will have to be remedied down the road to keep the hinges working right. I know because that is the situation with my mom's cabinets from the
1920's. Even with that, though, many times it just looks better to paint, especially with fake paneling, which (hopefully) will never come back into style. Paneling can be painted dark, masculine colors, too! Hmm... that would make an interesting test to see if it would help in a compromise.
Women generally have costumey, made up,flashy taste. Men prefer warm and rustic wood tones. Women are swissa cheese anyway
hello there and thanks on your information - I’ve definitely picked up something new from right here.
As a woodworker who turns and sells pens, women prefer pens make from colorful acrylic resin and men prefer pens made from wood. Both enjoy the patterns in both materials.
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Boyfriend and I just bought first home 6 months ago. Every wall is wooden paneling from the 70's. (yuck) I am having trouble convincing my man to let me paint just one room. (The office) I know that if I got the chance to tackle it. The finished room would be far nicer. Men are funny.
Can I use regular paint? do I need to do anything special?
yup, regular interior house paint will do. if the wood is glossy, prime it first, then paint with semi gloss.
I love the warm, homey, rustic look of wood. It's not fear, it's a simple preference. Take that first before/after picture in the article - I definitely prefer the before.
The paneling in my den is the real stuff, like in the last photo with the blue walls. I'm going to paint it but I'm still not real sure about those deep grooves and getting full coverage. It looks like a lot of work and a lot of paint. Is there a trick to getting the full coverage I want? I've even wondered about running a bead of caulk down the back of each groove?
Victoria,
I would roll the majority of the wall, and then you can use a smaller brush for the deep grooves. Not sure caulking would look right. Good luck!
THIS IS HILARIOUS!! My hubby is currently in the dog house because he completely vetoed my renovating dreams for our oak covered home. Too funny that I stumbled upon your article!! He refuses any oak adjustments, especially painting! Seriously, he even loves updated wood, but to re-stain or especially paint over another mans hard work...
whats the obsession with 'natural' wood?
We have a pine tongue-in-groove vaulted ceiling in our living room with a limestone fireplace covering one entire wall. I have held off painting the ceiling for 15 YEARS because I'm not sure if I should do it. The ceiling is unique (even if it feels like a cabin in Colorado)and everyone has a white ceiling, why would I want one too? I would really appreciate your insight. I'm not opposed to the idea, I just can't make a decision.
it's all about context- can you send over some pictures or post a link to them?
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